Mat Kearney is an American singer and songwriter, born on Decemver 1, 1978 in Eugene, Oregon. He is now based in Nashville, Tennesse. Kearney's major label debut, Nothing Left to Lose, has received a widespread recognition with songs including breathe in breathe out and nothing left to loose popular in countries all over the world. His songs have been on the T.V many times, including Dirty Sexy Money, Kyle XY, The Unit, Without A Trace, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Bones, Jericho, Friday Night Lights, Wildfire, What About Brian, South Beach, 8th & Ocean, One Tree Hill, Scrubs, The Closer, NCIS and especially Grey's Anatomy. Mat Kearney has toured many times with people and bands such as Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Sheryl Crow and The Fray.
My favourite Mat Kearney song is Breathe in, Breathe out. These are the lyrics..
Breathe in
Breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way
Just the same
Breathe in
Breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away
I will stay
We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
I'm not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Hold on
Hold tight
If I'm out of your sight
And everything keeps moving on
Moving on
Hold on
Hold tight
Make it through another night
Everyday, there comes a song
With the dawn
We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
But I'm not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
There is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Breathe in
And breathe out
Breath in
And breathe out
Breathe in
And breathe out
Breathe in
And breathe out
Look left
Look right
To the moon
And the night
Everything under the stars
Is in your arms
Cause there is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
There is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
There is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
There is a light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Sunday, May 25, 2008
First encounter with Ms. Davids
A teacher rambles on in the prison-feeled room. Ros of tables are neatly faced towards an almost blank whiteboard, reading only her name. Ms Davids. Her voice, high pitched and carrying a thick South African accent, is far from people's thoughts. The way she speaks is far from monotonous and uninteresting, it is all over the place and almost exciting like a roller coaster, you don't know whats next. But she only had me captured for the first two minutes, it had been forty minutes. The stories she is telling, unheard by the 28 daydreaming students. As for me, I am staring aimlessly. The walls of the classroom concrete and cold with few posters acting as splashes of colour in a sea of grey.
One side of the room is glass. A window to freedom, a freedom we had soaked in for a long time. But now the holidays were over and only a taste remained. I thought back to my summer holidays.
Beaches, warm, sun
Outside summer is still apparent, it is sunny with no clouds in the sky. But this much loved season is only lingering on, winter just around the corner. It feels as though I have hit with two blows in a row. School, winter.
Now I was stuck in a classroom, I am stuck in science. Still Ms Davids is talking to the class, I decide to listen. Maybe frozen time will defrost.. "An island is an island, not a dog" Ms Davids says with complete confidence. I begin to laugh, and look over to Emelia and Tash to see if they heard they same thing. And they did. I felt a laughter begin roar from inside me. Most of the class had heard this as well, just switched on to hear that one little phrase. Ms Davids couldn't understand what was so funny. Maybe it was because we had only picked up one part of her story or she was actually crazy.
Who knew what the year of science would have in store for us.
One side of the room is glass. A window to freedom, a freedom we had soaked in for a long time. But now the holidays were over and only a taste remained. I thought back to my summer holidays.
Beaches, warm, sun
Outside summer is still apparent, it is sunny with no clouds in the sky. But this much loved season is only lingering on, winter just around the corner. It feels as though I have hit with two blows in a row. School, winter.
Now I was stuck in a classroom, I am stuck in science. Still Ms Davids is talking to the class, I decide to listen. Maybe frozen time will defrost.. "An island is an island, not a dog" Ms Davids says with complete confidence. I begin to laugh, and look over to Emelia and Tash to see if they heard they same thing. And they did. I felt a laughter begin roar from inside me. Most of the class had heard this as well, just switched on to hear that one little phrase. Ms Davids couldn't understand what was so funny. Maybe it was because we had only picked up one part of her story or she was actually crazy.
Who knew what the year of science would have in store for us.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Banana Cake!
Elise Cuff thinks that Bananas are the most vile thing ever. It is one of her, or possibly, most hated food. She has actually only tried it once when she was little and she says she couldn't swallow it. Her brother would make smoothies for Elise and the first thing she would ask is 'does it have any bananas in it?? ' he would say no but sure enough there would actually bananas in it. She says she can always taste it.. But as we grow older our tastes buds change and we realise that we find a love for foods that we once hated and hate foods we once loved. I used to love mushrooms and now I can't stand them! I've told Elise this, but she simply doesn't listen, she is real stubborn.
Another food that everyone loves apart from Elise Cuff is cake. Everyone loves cake, everyone apart from Elise Cuff. She is crazy, I think that her taste buds are broken. There is no particular reason why she doesn't like cake, she just doesn't. Because she hates banana and cake, of course Elise thinks banana cake is the worst possible thing alive. But everyone loves a good old banana cake =]
This banana cake recipie is dedicated to Elise Cuff!
Ingredients:
2 Large bananas
2 cups of S.R. Flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
125g softened butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup milk
Directions:
Preheat oven to 180 :C.
Beat bananas on fairly high speed put aside.
Cream butter and sugar add eggs one at a time and beat well after each.
Pour in milk and vanilla mix well till combined.
Add flour, salt, & mashed banana beat slowly for about 3minutes.
Pour mixture into 8inch sandwich tins and bake for 30 minutes.
Cool and fill with whipped cream.
Sidetracked
When I'm doing something that I NEED to do, that absolutely HAS to be done I am pretty much always gauranteed to get sidetracked. There are four main elements that get me sidetracked communication with others, food, or entertainment or just plain sleep.
Communication with others is hard to stop myself from doing to keep myself on task. The main things are my phone, msn (including emailing) or even bebo. When someone sends me a text it is very hard for me to ignore, and is also quite rude so I half feel obliged to reply (haha). For example if they are asking a question that needs to be answered I have to reply, to help them! Otherwise it would be mean. When I have to do homework on the computer now I never log onto msn or go onto my emails or bebo because it will d e f i n a t e l y get me sidetracked. Sometimes getting sidetracked even means just talking to Hayley.
Food gets me sidetracked because for start, choosing what to eat is a big thing, that probably takes the most time. Preparing it can take alot of time as well, depending on what it is and then theres the main part of eating it. If it tastes really good, which it probably does because I chose to eat it, then i will mostly concentrate on the food not on what I'm meant to be doing. And then theres the, i can't do it because I'm eating.
Getting sidetracked because of entertainment basically means watching T.V or communicating people, because its fun talking to friends. When it comes to T.V there are so many different things on, and I'll tell myself ok I'll do whatever I need to do once this show finishes. Then another show comes on and another and another. And it goes on..
Sleeping gets me sidetracked for the simple reason of when I am meant to be doing something I am just way too tired!
When I get sidetracked my whole time managment gets out of the scheme of things and everything is done last minute. It turns out to be alot of trouble =s
Communication with others is hard to stop myself from doing to keep myself on task. The main things are my phone, msn (including emailing) or even bebo. When someone sends me a text it is very hard for me to ignore, and is also quite rude so I half feel obliged to reply (haha). For example if they are asking a question that needs to be answered I have to reply, to help them! Otherwise it would be mean. When I have to do homework on the computer now I never log onto msn or go onto my emails or bebo because it will d e f i n a t e l y get me sidetracked. Sometimes getting sidetracked even means just talking to Hayley.
Food gets me sidetracked because for start, choosing what to eat is a big thing, that probably takes the most time. Preparing it can take alot of time as well, depending on what it is and then theres the main part of eating it. If it tastes really good, which it probably does because I chose to eat it, then i will mostly concentrate on the food not on what I'm meant to be doing. And then theres the, i can't do it because I'm eating.
Getting sidetracked because of entertainment basically means watching T.V or communicating people, because its fun talking to friends. When it comes to T.V there are so many different things on, and I'll tell myself ok I'll do whatever I need to do once this show finishes. Then another show comes on and another and another. And it goes on..
Sleeping gets me sidetracked for the simple reason of when I am meant to be doing something I am just way too tired!
When I get sidetracked my whole time managment gets out of the scheme of things and everything is done last minute. It turns out to be alot of trouble =s
The World is a tiny speck in the crack of another World
When we think about sizes, being big and small it is easy to imagine. But when it comes to extremes in sizes it is hard to picture. So small that we cannot see or too large that we cannot see. For example tiny microrganisms or the gigantic universe. With this topic could come the question of is the world a tiny speck in the crack of another world. Our whole universe could be the size of the nucleus of an element of another world (microscopic!) !!
This thought was explored in the Doctor seuss movie 'Horton hears a Who'. In this movie a big elephant named Horton, lives in a jungle and hears a small cry from a speck of dust on top of a flower. He decides to protect the flower, and later finds out that living on the speck of dust are the Who's, who live in Whoville. They have no idea, and don't believe the fact that their whole world is a tiny speck of dust in another giant world!
There could be one thounsand billion trillion katillion million worlds in our world, and we could be a tiny speck in the crack of another World!
Everyone's a Robot
In our life we will only ever know what life is like from our own prespective. We never really know what anyone else is thinking or how they look at things. We never know what people are doing all the time either, for example it is one of the strangest things to imagine what a teacher is doing on the weekend or outside of school. It turns out they actually have a life, or at least that is what they let on. Once I saw Mr. Moss at a rugby game, and that was pretty crazy. He probably set it up so I would know that he actually did go out and had a life..
When I was little I used to think that people would turn off when I wasn't with them, like all life would stop. Because for all I knew (and still know) everyone switches off when I'm not there. In a movie I have seen the whole life a man is set up and is a show. When he finds out that his whole life is fake and was set up he is completely crushed, everything he knew was a lie. Sometimes I think that could be what has happened with my life. Another theory I had was that everyone is a robot, nobody actually has feelings or is actually people but they act it.
The thing is we will actually never know.
A cloud can be what you make it
Clouds. Clouds are everywhere, and all are different. not one looks the same. Clouds appear in the sky in all differrent shapes, sizes, shades and even textures. With a cloud comes all sorts of weather. A cloud is a mass of water droplets collected in the sky. They form because the air has become too cold at that height to store water as invisible vapour.
There are different types of clouds, using names derived from latin words. The name of a cloud is determined at what height the cloud is formed and the shape of the cloud. The layer of clouds that form near the ground are called stratus clouds. They make the weather look very grey and can someitmes cause rain. Cirruc clouds are clouds that form much higher and look like whispy curls of hair (my favourite type of clouds!). Clouds that look like fluffly balls of wool are cumulus clouds. When cumulus clouds grow much bigger they form to be cumulonimbus clouds, these clouds are the reasons for big outbursts of rain during thunderstorms.
People often stare at the clouds, which is meant to be very relaxing and calming. Lots of different shapes can be found in clouds and different people find different things out of clouds. Depending on the personality of the person and imagination determines what they can find out of a cloud. People with little imagination tend to not find much out of clouds, where as people with a wild imagination can almost find anything. In the end a cloud can be what you make it.
A long entry
I realised that I just wrote a very very V E R Y long entry! I never knew that I could write so much before, and it didn't even take me that long. So for doing such a great long entry, I thought I would dedicate a nice short entry to it. With an acrostic poem. Here we go ..
A - long entry
L - usciously long
O - ver written
N - uscence to read!
G - eeze hurry up and finish
E - xtremely long
N - ice sized entry (just for a change)
T - ime of mine was wasted reading that
R - apidly I read that... NOT
Y - ay I finished it!
(a short entry dedicated to the long entry below)
A - long entry
L - usciously long
O - ver written
N - uscence to read!
G - eeze hurry up and finish
E - xtremely long
N - ice sized entry (just for a change)
T - ime of mine was wasted reading that
R - apidly I read that... NOT
Y - ay I finished it!
(a short entry dedicated to the long entry below)
Waiheke Island!
Seven twenty-five, s e v e n t w e n t y - f i v e a m marked the start of the day. It was the time I had to be ready and in Meygan's car to get to Devonport. Today we were going to Waiheke Island for a soccer game.
Friday night I would normally look at my watch and read nineoclock thinking, its early, I can't sleep for as long as I want tomorrow. But this friday night was different, at the sight of nineoclock I knew that it was time to go to sleep, I wanted to be bright and fresh for my soccer game tomorrow. I set my alarm clock for seven knowing I would have to get ready fast. In my mind, getting ready for bed, I kept telling myself that I should get all of my stuff together tonight. But who knows where that thought went, I woke up in the morning with nothing ready. I didn't have a clue where half of my things were. Scrambling around my house, eating toast, my Dad caught eye of me and tried to start conversation. I really didn't have much time, of which I told him over and over again, except he didn't really mind too much, he had all the time in the world. It was a pretty one sided conversation, my reply was 'Dad, I need money'. Eventually he gave in and I was ready just as Meygan knocked on the door.
In the car it was pretty silent, you could tell everyone had just woken up. I was the first person from the team to get picked up. The next stop was Sally's house, which was where Elise and Sally were. They piled into the very back seat, after alot of fuss trying to figure out how the seat folded down. Once getting in Elise realised she had forgotten her phone in Sally's room, but it was too late. She had to survive without her phone. We drove to Holly's house, but no one was home and she wasn't answering her phone. It was a mystery where she was, because she had said that she was definately coming to the Waiheke game. After waiting a while we had to leave, otherwise we'd miss the ferry and the game. Henesse was at the school for the 40 hour famine party, which meant we were going to school early on a Saturday morning. It felt crazy and weird. Now we were finally on our way down to Devonport. The ride seemed to go quite fast, with everyone in the car quiet and tired.
We were the second to last group to arrive at Devonport. All of a sudden Holly shows up and tells us this long story of where she was and how she got here. It turned out she was staying at a friends house, hadn't looked at her phone (which is a very Holly thing to do) and caught the bus here from Devonport. Devonport wasn't even on the bus' route but Holly had started crying because she was so scared and thought she would miss the game, so the driver drove her right to the ferry. Waiting for our ferry to arrive was quite boring, we looked to see what the different skyscrapers in Auckland city resembled (Holly found one looking like a toilet, with an open toilet seat). A team of little boys, who played rugby, were also headed for Waiheke. They had discovered a broken vending machine which had toys in it. It was funny watching them, they thought they looked like such little rebels stealing bouncy balls instead of paying a dollar. We really wanted a bouncy ball to play handball, but felt to bad to steal. Holly only had a two dollar coin so we went around the few open shops and got turned down about three times with the same not very clear exscuse of 'they had just opened'. In the end a nice man from a shop called 'un petit croissant' exchanged the two dollar coin for two ones. We got the two balls we wanted and played outside, right by the water. We knew it would happen, and it did, one ball fell into the water and then the other did. A little boy from the rugby team saw what had happened and stole a ball fromt the machine and held it out for us to have. It was a nice gesture, this time we didn't loose it.
On the ferry, the girls of our team filled up two tables. There was a dancefloor that had a mirror above it so, as Holly said 'you could see the move you cranked out'. We bought winegums and went up to the very top outside of the ferry to eat them. On the lookout for penguins, our hair was completely munted but it was still fun. When the ferry had stopped we all agreed we couldn't be bothered playing soccer, it didn't feel like we had a game on today. Piling off the ferry some girls from the Waiheke team were waiting for us. Holly and I were taken to the feild with a man, lady and girl from the team we were versing. They could name almost everyone we saw, driving past, it was a small place with only two primary and intermediate schools combined and one college. It was akward at first, but the tention eased as we started talking about soccer and the Papatoe team. A couple weeks ago we had versed the big, black team and they warned us of the 'agressive' waiheke island team. The people in the car told us their version of the story, the goalie from the Papatoe team (who had two kids!) had started a physical fight with a girl from their team. People from the sideline could hear the Papatoe team saying who they were going to take out next, it was whoever they felt threatning to making them loose the game. In the end the Papatoe team reported the innocent (probably not completely innocent) Waiheke team for doing absolutely nothing. They said they were the first team to not stay for morning tea. It would have been one uncomftorable ride to take their players back to the ferry.
The field was in the best position I had ever played at. It was right in the middle of a valley, with farming and vineyards surrounding it. It was so peaceful. Doing the warm-up before the game I had it certain that I did not want to play today. I was also partially scared of our oposition, we had no trouble with the Papatoe team, these guys must have done something pretty bad. Craig, our coach, said that we had to win today, we didn't come all this way to loose. Now I was hyped. A couple minutes into the game I could see that it would be an easy game, we would beat these guys. I played right back for majority of the game and some right midfield. Elise was the star of the game, she scored five goals, of which all were incredible. The end result of the game was 7-0. We were victorious.
Having morning tea was fun, Sally stuck a cucumber on my back and I chased after her with some food. It resulted as everyone chasing after everyone with food. Holly and I rode back with the same people, who dropped us off at what they called 'the shops'. A tiny stretch of shops. Some people bought food and we continued walking down to the ferry, of which they told us was a fifteen minute walk. Holly had so many bags, because it was all her stuff from staying at her friends house as well. People dumped her bags onto eachother, so she wouldn't have to carry them the whole way. The bags were heavy. I was walking fast, for no reason, at the front. Elise kept telling me to slow down and at the end me, Sally, Elise and Anna were at the very end. We ended up running to the ferry and were the last to arrive.
On the journey home on the boat everyone was really tired and we didn't go outside. Nothing much happened, and the same of which happened in the car. When I got home I was completely zonked, but it was a fun trip and a great game!
Friday night I would normally look at my watch and read nineoclock thinking, its early, I can't sleep for as long as I want tomorrow. But this friday night was different, at the sight of nineoclock I knew that it was time to go to sleep, I wanted to be bright and fresh for my soccer game tomorrow. I set my alarm clock for seven knowing I would have to get ready fast. In my mind, getting ready for bed, I kept telling myself that I should get all of my stuff together tonight. But who knows where that thought went, I woke up in the morning with nothing ready. I didn't have a clue where half of my things were. Scrambling around my house, eating toast, my Dad caught eye of me and tried to start conversation. I really didn't have much time, of which I told him over and over again, except he didn't really mind too much, he had all the time in the world. It was a pretty one sided conversation, my reply was 'Dad, I need money'. Eventually he gave in and I was ready just as Meygan knocked on the door.
In the car it was pretty silent, you could tell everyone had just woken up. I was the first person from the team to get picked up. The next stop was Sally's house, which was where Elise and Sally were. They piled into the very back seat, after alot of fuss trying to figure out how the seat folded down. Once getting in Elise realised she had forgotten her phone in Sally's room, but it was too late. She had to survive without her phone. We drove to Holly's house, but no one was home and she wasn't answering her phone. It was a mystery where she was, because she had said that she was definately coming to the Waiheke game. After waiting a while we had to leave, otherwise we'd miss the ferry and the game. Henesse was at the school for the 40 hour famine party, which meant we were going to school early on a Saturday morning. It felt crazy and weird. Now we were finally on our way down to Devonport. The ride seemed to go quite fast, with everyone in the car quiet and tired.
We were the second to last group to arrive at Devonport. All of a sudden Holly shows up and tells us this long story of where she was and how she got here. It turned out she was staying at a friends house, hadn't looked at her phone (which is a very Holly thing to do) and caught the bus here from Devonport. Devonport wasn't even on the bus' route but Holly had started crying because she was so scared and thought she would miss the game, so the driver drove her right to the ferry. Waiting for our ferry to arrive was quite boring, we looked to see what the different skyscrapers in Auckland city resembled (Holly found one looking like a toilet, with an open toilet seat). A team of little boys, who played rugby, were also headed for Waiheke. They had discovered a broken vending machine which had toys in it. It was funny watching them, they thought they looked like such little rebels stealing bouncy balls instead of paying a dollar. We really wanted a bouncy ball to play handball, but felt to bad to steal. Holly only had a two dollar coin so we went around the few open shops and got turned down about three times with the same not very clear exscuse of 'they had just opened'. In the end a nice man from a shop called 'un petit croissant' exchanged the two dollar coin for two ones. We got the two balls we wanted and played outside, right by the water. We knew it would happen, and it did, one ball fell into the water and then the other did. A little boy from the rugby team saw what had happened and stole a ball fromt the machine and held it out for us to have. It was a nice gesture, this time we didn't loose it.
On the ferry, the girls of our team filled up two tables. There was a dancefloor that had a mirror above it so, as Holly said 'you could see the move you cranked out'. We bought winegums and went up to the very top outside of the ferry to eat them. On the lookout for penguins, our hair was completely munted but it was still fun. When the ferry had stopped we all agreed we couldn't be bothered playing soccer, it didn't feel like we had a game on today. Piling off the ferry some girls from the Waiheke team were waiting for us. Holly and I were taken to the feild with a man, lady and girl from the team we were versing. They could name almost everyone we saw, driving past, it was a small place with only two primary and intermediate schools combined and one college. It was akward at first, but the tention eased as we started talking about soccer and the Papatoe team. A couple weeks ago we had versed the big, black team and they warned us of the 'agressive' waiheke island team. The people in the car told us their version of the story, the goalie from the Papatoe team (who had two kids!) had started a physical fight with a girl from their team. People from the sideline could hear the Papatoe team saying who they were going to take out next, it was whoever they felt threatning to making them loose the game. In the end the Papatoe team reported the innocent (probably not completely innocent) Waiheke team for doing absolutely nothing. They said they were the first team to not stay for morning tea. It would have been one uncomftorable ride to take their players back to the ferry.
The field was in the best position I had ever played at. It was right in the middle of a valley, with farming and vineyards surrounding it. It was so peaceful. Doing the warm-up before the game I had it certain that I did not want to play today. I was also partially scared of our oposition, we had no trouble with the Papatoe team, these guys must have done something pretty bad. Craig, our coach, said that we had to win today, we didn't come all this way to loose. Now I was hyped. A couple minutes into the game I could see that it would be an easy game, we would beat these guys. I played right back for majority of the game and some right midfield. Elise was the star of the game, she scored five goals, of which all were incredible. The end result of the game was 7-0. We were victorious.
Having morning tea was fun, Sally stuck a cucumber on my back and I chased after her with some food. It resulted as everyone chasing after everyone with food. Holly and I rode back with the same people, who dropped us off at what they called 'the shops'. A tiny stretch of shops. Some people bought food and we continued walking down to the ferry, of which they told us was a fifteen minute walk. Holly had so many bags, because it was all her stuff from staying at her friends house as well. People dumped her bags onto eachother, so she wouldn't have to carry them the whole way. The bags were heavy. I was walking fast, for no reason, at the front. Elise kept telling me to slow down and at the end me, Sally, Elise and Anna were at the very end. We ended up running to the ferry and were the last to arrive.
On the journey home on the boat everyone was really tired and we didn't go outside. Nothing much happened, and the same of which happened in the car. When I got home I was completely zonked, but it was a fun trip and a great game!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Bill
The cold car is silent. A humming engine only to be heard. Someone carrying no emotion stares aimlessly out out the window, that person is me.
The sky is grey.
The road is grey.
Feelings are grey.
Dark trees and lines on the road are a blur. The rear veiw mirror catches my eye, a sad, empty face is reflected from the passenger seat. The firm grip of a hand on my knee interupts my thoughts. It is Dad. He says nothing but I can feel him comforting me, telling me "Courtney, its ok. It's ok to cry". And i hadn't, not yet, not ever. There was no need to. For a person to cry meant something painful, tragic or upsetting to have happened. Nothing had happened.
I looked down at my muddy socks, shoes and shinpads on the floor. It was a normal day, we were on our way back from my soccer game. And it was a great game, I scored. We should be happy, I am happy. But that is where we heard the news.
A ringing phone breaks the uneasy silence. It's mum. She is calm, content. Who am I kidding, no, no she's not. The trauma in her voice is unsettling, please don't mum, please don't. She does, she begins to cry. And like a growing storm the leaking of her heart becomes stronger, heavier. The few words that I catch say it all.
Bill, Christine, Body.
New baby born
She confirmed it. It had happened. I feel my throat begin to swell up, tears starting rolling down my cheek. Harder and harder now, it's difficult to breathe. I can't breathe! Bill is dead! He's gone! Forever! What about Christine! How will she cope, it was always Bill and Christine, Christine and Bill! It's like taking the choclate chips out of chocolate chip cookies! My mind is as twisted and busy as the spaghetti junction we are winding around. My crying hasn't stopped, it won't stop, I can't stop.
Dad hangs up the phone and tells me in a hushed tone it's alright. Curtis turns around with two dry eyes and flashes me a look of sympathy, he doesn't speak for the rest of the way home.
My crying begins to stop. I picture Bill's smiling face in my head, he had the best smile. I will miss that smile.
Today Bill died.
Today Bill left us.
Today Bill left his newborn grandaughter.
The sky is grey.
The road is grey.
Feelings are grey.
Dark trees and lines on the road are a blur. The rear veiw mirror catches my eye, a sad, empty face is reflected from the passenger seat. The firm grip of a hand on my knee interupts my thoughts. It is Dad. He says nothing but I can feel him comforting me, telling me "Courtney, its ok. It's ok to cry". And i hadn't, not yet, not ever. There was no need to. For a person to cry meant something painful, tragic or upsetting to have happened. Nothing had happened.
I looked down at my muddy socks, shoes and shinpads on the floor. It was a normal day, we were on our way back from my soccer game. And it was a great game, I scored. We should be happy, I am happy. But that is where we heard the news.
A ringing phone breaks the uneasy silence. It's mum. She is calm, content. Who am I kidding, no, no she's not. The trauma in her voice is unsettling, please don't mum, please don't. She does, she begins to cry. And like a growing storm the leaking of her heart becomes stronger, heavier. The few words that I catch say it all.
Bill, Christine, Body.
New baby born
She confirmed it. It had happened. I feel my throat begin to swell up, tears starting rolling down my cheek. Harder and harder now, it's difficult to breathe. I can't breathe! Bill is dead! He's gone! Forever! What about Christine! How will she cope, it was always Bill and Christine, Christine and Bill! It's like taking the choclate chips out of chocolate chip cookies! My mind is as twisted and busy as the spaghetti junction we are winding around. My crying hasn't stopped, it won't stop, I can't stop.
Dad hangs up the phone and tells me in a hushed tone it's alright. Curtis turns around with two dry eyes and flashes me a look of sympathy, he doesn't speak for the rest of the way home.
My crying begins to stop. I picture Bill's smiling face in my head, he had the best smile. I will miss that smile.
Today Bill died.
Today Bill left us.
Today Bill left his newborn grandaughter.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
A friend.. NATASHA RISHWORTH
C R A Z Y is the one word that sums up Tash. She is the funniest person. If Tash is ever there she will find something funny to say. She has a way of looking at things different, in a funny aspect. She always says things in a crazy accent or tone of voice, for example calling out my name. Tash makes the most hilarious faces. It is almost as like she carries a million different characters with her. She is always laughing and makes me laugh. Tash is always talking. She talks about how she is hungry, or she really Really REALLY feels like butter chicken. She stresses the word really and uses it alot, so it sounds like reeeeeally. One of her favourite describing words is heenis (meaning disgusting or gross). When she doesn't like or feel like doing something, for example doing a subject at school.. you know about it. You can count on her to speak her mind. But she can be very quiet and shy at times, for example when she is meeting new people. She also keeps quiet about her secrets, you are extremely lucky to get anything out of her. Tash is really good at art and drama ( THE ARTS =] ) and is smart. She is a really good netball player, she is in the top netball team of year ten. When she wants to she really puts the effort in and can achieve a lot. She is a very organized person, which is shown in her room and handwriting. Tash is very tidy. She is a very picky person and comments on her hair looking bad (heenis) alot. Tash thinks her little sister is a right brat and its funny hearing her tell stories of her. She is a really nice person if something is wrong she will try to make you happy and laugh. I'm really lucky to have her as a friend!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Krispy Kreme
Krispy Kreme are hands down the best doghnuts ever tasted. You don't know what a doughnut is until you have tried a krispy kreme. Krispy Kreme is a famous doughnut shop in America (originally) and Canada but is now starting to spread internationally. These delicious melt in your mouth doughnuts are now an icon in the States. My first experience with the taste from heaven (they're that good) was in Alabama, when I was in America one year for christmas.
There are so many different varieties but their most known is the original glazed. At each store there is a big glass window where you can see rows and rows of doughnuts being made and glazed. There are twenty-eight main different types of doughnuts, ranging from dulce de leche, a latin American Doughnut, to New York Cheese cake and Caramel Kreme Crunch. More doughnuts come and go with different seasons, for example at thanksgiving pumpkin spice doughnuts are sold and at christmas snowmen doughnuts are up for sale. You never knew there could be so many different types, all coming in different shapes.
On July 13, 1937 Vermon Rudolph bought a secret recipe from a French Chef in New Orleans for delicious yeast-raised doughnuts and rented a building in North California. He began selling them to local grocery stores and they became so popular people asked to buy them freshly made. In the 40's and 50's more branches started to be made and were ran by members from the family. Sales were not always consistant though. in the 60's and 70's krispy kreme was becoming more well known and moved out southeast across America. The founder, Vermon Rudolph died n 1973. Krispy Kreme was buzzing in the 80's and 90's, everyone knew about them and grew to love the doughnuts. Today it is amazing how far they have come, there are so many stores worldwide. We just need one in New Zealand.
Go to the site www.krispykreme.com and see for yourself =]
Chocolate, Now you see it, Now you don't
Everybody in my house is in love with chocolate, Cadbury chocolate. But who doesn't, you would have to be mental to not like chocolate. So it's good that everyone in my family likes it, or isn't allergic to it because there is always some chocolate available (most of the time).
There are four main times of the year when I get a lot of chocolate, at christmas, my birthday, easter and Hayley's birthday. At christmas there is always little chocolate santas with marshmallows and elves with crackling candy in stockings and random presents. On my birthday I get chocolate from my friends, last year it was cross country on my birthday, that didn't go down so well. I was so full of chocolate. Easter is the obvious time for getting chocolate, ever easter I always feel sick. The best thing is waking up in the morning and going downstairs seeing three separate piles of our easter eggs laid out for us (the three kids in my family). Still the thought of a creme egg makes me feel sick from easter. When its Hayley's birthday it is chocolate galore, she literally had boxes of whole blocks of chocolate. We had so many different types of chocolate in the house. It was so great.
A problem with chocolate in my family is they are all pretty boring and just like the same old flavorus, dairy milk and caramello basically. My favourite is fruit of the forrest which doesn't have any fruit in it (I don't like chocolate that has fruit in it). It has little pieces of delicious jelly and cookie. It's not boring at all, jammed pack of jelly and cookie goodness.
When a block of chocolate is opened and you take a couple of pieces, next time you go back its gone. We have a bunch of chocolate munchers in my house, or maybe its just magic.
Dad
My dad is probably the most sarcastic person you could ever meet (not in a bitter way). The only problem is you don't really know when he is being sarcastic or not. It is kind of his form of humor, it is a very dry sense of humor. When you are doing something he told you not to do and you go ahead and do it anyway he'll use reverse psychology. He will tell you to do exactly that thing you weren't meant to do so many times in a certain voice. You can tell when he's teasing you about something with the tone of his voice and even the look on his face, he's not directly saying it but you know he is. When he's reading the newspaper or watching golf and you ask him a question it goes right through one ear and out the other. It probably doesn't even reach one ear. And when you ask him for the ten millionth time he simply says 'Yes I know. I heard you the first time'. But when the tables are turned and a question isn't answered in a fraction of a second.. He can be the most serious man and the most stupidest and silliest person. He is so LAME and always cracking jokes. When he feels like you aren't talking to him enough he'll grab you and talk in a tone that is him trying to make you feel sorry for abandoning him. He is really loving and giving, which is shown in his job (he is the 'Director of International Programs' for World Vision in New Zealand). I know that if I was ever in trouble he would take care of me and stick by my side no matter what. He has a lot of faith. He believes it is important to give, especially to those who are in need of it (for example money), and to not be greedy. He thinks one of the worst things you can do is to be selfish, he is very selfless. Family is really important to him. He is very encouraging and really praises anything good that is done. When he is angry at you, or you are in trouble he doesn't say much to you, but that is the worst thing he can do. He is very tidy and organized person, everything has to be immaculate and he doesn't like lateness. He says he doesn't like the cats very much, but I know he does. He is always right (according to him).
'But it was ok'
It had come to this. An eternity of sweat and pain.
Try. Fail. Try. Succeed. Try. Fail.
The ongoing battle with myself had kept me practicing for hours on end, all for this event, this very moment. And the final result, leaving me with the most exultant or empty feeling. It would be success or failure.
I could see the faces, their eyes fastened on me, expecting something amazing. I could feel it with my eyes closed. The expectancy, a ponderous weight on my shoulders, forcing me to question my ability. I tried to look brave, proud and unafraid but inside I was no lion, I was the lamb. At this moment I caught the eye of a boy, no older than seven. He was wearing a cheesy shirt that had my face on it that matched the wide grin he wore on his face. I knew I was his heroine. I winked at the boy, flicked my shirt and was off.
My calves were jelly, peddling my bike had never felt so hard in my life. I could see the first ramp coming up, it looked so small from the distance I was at. Coming closer and closer to the wooden curve was exhilarating, now I was so ready for my first trick. Feeling myself getting higher in the air I leaned forward at great speed, then was on the ground again. I had successfully flipped my bike. A smile as big as the small boy's came to my face, a bigger ramp was coming up and I knew I'd nail it. Up and off the ramp I was almost in the clouds, I jumped off my seat and did a handstand holding onto my handle bars. Landing, a huge roar came from the crowd. I looked to the humming sea of people, I had a spell over them, I laughed to myself. Then out of nowhere felt something on road make me loose control of the bike and I was in the air and 'thump' on the ground. I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, or have that feeling in my gut, so I knew I was alright. I looked down at my ankle, my foot was hanging limp facing the opposite way it is meant to. Next thing I know I am in hysterical laughter, it had come to this. But it was ok.
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